Hate Loving You
by kuragari nikkou
Summary: Ike obviously hates loving Roy. He even made a list! A LIST! How did that go wrong? Shonen-ai, so please don't read if you don't like that.


All characters © their respective owners

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Hoshi: Yo! I'll be the writer of this fic or rather it should be called an attempt at shonen-ai. If you're not fond of that even in the slightest bit, then please find something else you'd be interested in. DAMN, I'm turning into my creator! If you don't like, then get out! Door's open! Find something else worth your time.

Hoshi, be nice.

Hoshi: Yes, mother. Oh and I have hardly a clue as to how the characters actually are, so if they act completely OOC then I've done my job. I mean, tell me so that I can do a better job next time.

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_(Ike's POV)_

Why?

Of all people, why couldn't it have been someone else?

Like a girl.

Cupid is such a…

Well, this is no time to be cursing the gods that other people believe in.

Even if I should.

I continued to stare at Roy sleeping…on the floor next to the table in our room. I knew this would happen sooner or later. He gets bored really easily and falls asleep before anyone bothers to notice except me. The door wasn't even locked! What's wrong with this kid's sense of security?! Someday someone is going to just walk in and slit his throat! Not to mention he's such a heavy sleeper he wouldn't notice till he lost most of his blood.

Sometimes I have to wonder how in the world I fell in love with someone so damn annoying.

I'll start with his hair.

One, it's such a bright color. You could see him a mile away like a walking target.

Two, Red reflects his cocky and impulsive attitude. He often makes bold statements…like when he called Marth a pervert. Well that was more funny than annoying. Which reminds me, he also talks a lot and says things he shouldn't.

Now for his eyes.

One, the contrast between his hair color and eye color are enough to drive me insane.

Two, since he has eyes, he uses them to cry. A lot. It's too bad he wasn't born a girl. If he was, he'd either wipe them away as soon as anyone noticed and let me interrogate him afterwards (like Samus and Sheik) or latch onto me shouting out his problems (like Peach and Zelda or sometimes Pit even though he isn't a girl). But no, he just sits there crying and I stand there like an idiot staring at him wondering what I should do.

Three, that innocent kind of look he has. Like a freaking child! Where I'm from, sixteen-year-old boys do not have child-like innocence in their eyes. No, _they_ all had an evil kind of look in their eyes!

I'm already at how annoying he is.

One, he doesn't keep his guard up. And he calls himself a fighter! He's so easy to sneak up on. And yet it's kind of fun to see the look on his face when he's surprised. Really cute…damn him.

Two, did I already mention how he falls asleep when he reads in the library? No? Well, _someone_ had to carry him back to our room. It's a good thing he's pretty light, but that could be because he's two years younger than me (A/N: I know Roy's sixteen and I think Ike's about eighteen) and because he's small...like a girl. He also lets his guard down when he's asleep. Even when I can't see his eyes he still manages to pull off that innocent act.

Three, he acts really seductive around me without even trying. Wait, where did that come from? Uh...he's a tricky one. Yeah, that should work. He can act innocent, but we all know he's evil.

Four, he has terrible aim. Like that one time when he tried throwing a dictionary at Ness (who across the freaking room for god's sake) and hit Marth who walked into the room through a door that was right next to him. He doesn't think when he's mad, so I guess that had something to do with it. Marth can be scary when he's pissed, and I'm pretty sure by the terrified look on Roy's face that he knew that all too well. I think I'd be considered sadistic if I said he's cute when he's scared, but he is.

Five, he trips a lot. I know he's not exactly graceful, but neither am I or Link. You don't see us stumbling everywhere! I do like seeing him disappointed when he gets up from falling flat on his face, though. (A/N: Yeah, I think Roy's clumsy)

Six, he's like an open book. You don't need to be psychic to know that he talks too quickly and his face reddens in front of Sheik because he loves her! Because he loves _her_ and not anyone else. Her and only her.

Seven, his fighting style is just Marth's with a fire attachment. How did I fall in love with a moveset clone? Although he is much more innocent than Marth and they're hardly alike.

Eight, when he doesn't get his way he pouts. On the other hand, it is pretty cute.

Nine, he keeps making me use the word, "cute". I'm a lone wolf swordsman and I don't use that sort of vocabulary! There's got to be some way I can refrain from saying that or at least say something manlier.

Ten, wow I've already gotten to ten! The reason...he's a very insane pyromaniac. When we had a fire he just sat back and watched the flames burn while laughing. NO NORMAL PERSON DOES THAT. (A/N: I'm sure a lot of us do that, but if you want to be considered normal yet you do that then I'm sorry if you feel offended)

Eleven, you can never give him alcohol. He's a belligerent drunk. Meaning that he tries to slice your head off when you talk to him. Plus, I don't even know why this place lets underage people drink. At least the kids were sipping lemonade instead of alcohol.

Twelve, his idea of a good wakeup call are fireworks...in the middle of the night. (A/N: Explosions, fireworks, and burning is what us pyros are into) The last thing we need is hearing explosions in the air at night. He does look really happy enjoying the explosions, but then he sees Sheik and tries to hide his reddening face.

Thirteen, the unlucky number, damn he woke up. Oh wait, that's not a reason he actually woke up. He got up and tried to rub that sleepy tired look off. That's a shame because it fits him considering how mindless he is. Then, he narrowed his eyes at me, glared, and frowned. It's too bad that's the best he can do to look menacing. It was actually sort of cute.

"Why were you staring at me the whole time I was asleep?" ...I was doing that? I should find something else to stare at when I'm contemplating. "Pervert." What did he just say?

"I thought Marth was the pervert." That was a stupid reply, but it just came out before I could stop it. He seemed to be thinking that over.

"Nah. You're a bigger one." He could be so irritating... "You're always staring at me for some reason. Even when you think I don't notice." Okay, maybe he does keep his guard up. "And you don't seem to realize that I know you're sneaking up on me." Uh... "So that makes you a stalker and a pervert." I don't need to listen to this. I got up to leave, but not before he had to say one more thing that made me do something I know I'd regret like he always does. "You do realize you were saying a lot of things out loud, right?"

I turned around, shoved him to ground, straddled his waist, and pinned his wrists down. **"How much did you hear?" **I didn't think I could my voice to such a dangerous tone. He squirmed a little trying to escape, obviously scared. Doesn't he know he's trapped? "Answer me." He pouted. So immature. Oh gods, I'm turning into Marth...

"Okay, I admit I feigned sleep...a little, but I only want to know why you were acting so weird." Weird? Me? Is he sure he's not talking about Zero Suit or someone else? "I didn't think it was because of something like this." Wow, I have yet another reason to hate him. He's so oblivious when it comes to stuff involving love. Freaking dense idiot. I wonder how many hearts you've broken. "I also can't believe that you didn't just come out and say it. You said you detest romance for stalling and never getting to the point, so why didn't you just tell me that you loved me?" I didn't think it'd be that simple. "Now I see that you're unsure, so I decided to...somehow...trick you."

"What?" He smiled a little mischieviously.

"Would you mind getting off me?" Oh shit. I forgot we were in this position the whole time! And how...suggestive it was... I got off him trying to hide the blush. Guys like me don't blush that brightly either. He got up and looked up at me. "Anyway, I tried to get you jealous by pretending to have a little crush on Sheik. It's called acting, you know; look it up. I didn't realize that you would be so hurt by it, though." I wasn't hurt! It takes more than that! "Plus, I hired Pit to spy on you to see if your eyes really do 'chase me every chance they get' like how Peach described it. But after three days he wound up really injured."

...Oh yeah, Pit's not very good at sneaking up on people either because you hear his wings beat from half a mile away. I thought he was stalking me, so I beat the living daylights out of him. I should probably apologize for that...

"Now, I have to come to terms with my feelings too." What's all this about you and your feelings? "At first, I was like you. I made a list of everything I disliked about you trying so hard to convince myself that I couldn't possibly fall for a jerk like you." Is that so? "You act so stoic and calm when everyone else is panicking. What are you? A second Mewtwo?! You also have a really bad temper. Like Marth. I also really don't like how you always find at least three reasons to hate something. You're so pessimistic! And you're also a sadist! You always smile when I get scared out of my mind and make it worse!" Ha...he's really starting to piss me off again.

"But then...with every reason I had for disliking you I also had a reason for liking you. It's not normal to stay so calm when all hell breaks loose, but then again you aren't normal...in so many ways..." What was that supposed to mean? "It's your bad temper that stops people from saying you're just some perfect evil little doll." That's what people think of me? "You can be really entertaining when you act pessimistic too." So he also takes pleasure in my confusion... "As for your sadism...well I finally got to find a way that me, Marth, and you are alike!"

...Wha? He's starting to talk again. He sure loves talking a lot...and yet I find that I never get tired of hearing his sweet voice.

"I need to whisper this part!" Eh. I lowered myself to his level. He kissed me really quickly on my lips and then whispered, "You're too tall!" Then he just left as if we never had the conversation.

...

"You're too short!" I shouted back. Wait, there's just one more question I need to answer.

Is he more annoying than cute?

...

Not meant to be answered.

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Hoshi: I finished! Alright! Well, hoped you liked it, but if not...well that's not my problem, but I can improve. As for not putting quotes around stuff that Ike could've potentially said aloud...I leave it to your imagination and NO, he doesn't speak of my non-existant author notes. Lately, I've been really into this pairing, but I do want to write some MarthxRoy too. And possibly a love triangle! The blue-haired fire emblem swordsmen fighting over that adorable red-head...so many ideas, but love triangles tend to get pretty serious. Angst has a powerful way of making me cry. Oh and sorry if all you Pit fans are offended, but Ike beating him up does not mean I hate him or that I'm bashing him in any way. Yes, I think they're all sadistic and that Marth is to be feared greatly when he loses it.


End file.
